I face that everyday. He’s my love and I will do everything and anything for him. I love you EB
For all the girls who are in a relationships with army men. I know it’s a life we would not choose for ourselves but we do it because we love then. From the freaking out constantly to the crying purely because you can see them on skype but you can’t touch them, you can’t hold their hand, you can’t kiss them and tell them you love him while holding him close. The other day I heard gun shots over his head and now the image of his horrified face haunts me in my dreams. The only thing that makes me genuinely smile is hearing from him that he’s ok and seeing his adorable smile. Idk what to do with myself anymore. I can’t sleep, I don’t eat, i just want to snuggle up in bed and talk to him and hear his lovely voice. Its my job to support and tell him everything is ok and as much as it hurts to not scream and beg him to come home I have to stay strong. I have to let him know that I will be here for him when he gets off that plane. Less then 2 weeks and I can run up to him and spoil him rotten until his 2 weeks with me are up and he takes my heart to war to save others lives to go home to their families. The saddest part is if god forbid anything happened to him I have no rights. No one would tell me I would be lost in a sea of my own solitary misery. How can
I am laying here in the dark thinking about how much I should hate you. I mean I think I have every right. You broke my heart, No not only broke my heart, cracked the ribs, ripped it out, stomped on it, laughed, and then gingerly tried to put it back as if everything was perfectly fine. But nothing is perfectly fine. I am lost, I have no clue what to do. Everyday I wake up thinking about you and as much as I try not to I go to bed thinking about you. The days get better and you are in the back of my mind and then you stroll into work and look right through me like I never existed, like I meant nothing to you. Like I was a pawn in your game. Like saying I love you means nothing. Honestly I gave you my heart and I meant it but I dont believe for a moment that you meant it when you said it. I feel as though I wasted a summer, a precious summer, on your ass. And still I cant hate you. I want you back more than you could know. I think there is something wrong with me. I should feel a burning hatred for you right? I blame myself, I think of all the things I could have done, should have done rather and kick myself about them. But that wont bring you back. That wont help you see what you are missing. That wont bring back those feelings you may have vaguely established for me. I was dumb I should have never fallen for that stupid grin and nonchalant charm. I am the idiot, you made a fool of me and now I must deal with the consequences. Its my fault, thanks for the good false times I’ll never forget you
mmmhmmm
(Source: hottiesnsmokesinbw)
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I wish it was fall again. I miss everything about it
(Source: oliveyou96)
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I will reach the stars
I want nothing more than to go to Africa and help people. I think it may be my true calling in life. I love acting and the rush it gives me but I was given a big heart for a reason. I’m not saying it is something some divine power bestowed upon me because frankly I can be strong enough as an intelligent human being to give myself that power but I do think it is laid out in the cards for me. I want to build orphanages and give people medical care. I want to find clean drinking water. I want to go to Russia and help children whose parents have died from aids. I want to teach people how to avoid diseases. Its not even wanting to help just people, I wish to adopt all the older dogs and cats in shelters and give them a good home because they deserve it and dont deserve to die because we cant accommodate them. I want to open up an arts center in an inner city and teach high risk youth there are creative outlets and people who care about their progress and well being. I want to teach people that pitt bulls are the sweetest dogs in the world and they only become bad because they want to please their owners. I want to stop dog, cock, any animal fighting for human pleasure and see everyone of those bastards put in jail. I want to work with people who are considering suicide and teach them that every day is a beautiful gift, that it is a good day because you are alive. I want to adopt a child and give them the gift of love and having worked so hard to get them. I want to save horses from the slaughter house and open all the calve houses on a veal farm and save them. That one is extreme but who is a human to say that a baby was brought into the world to live as little as a few days to 35 weeks, its disgusting. It also disgusts me that I am happy, healthy, and well at a private university to get a good education and people are out there dying and my college money could save them. How was I so lucky to be born white and upper middle class in America? Why me? Why is anyone fated to suffer or succeed? I dont think I will ever get the answer to that but one thing is for sure the luck of the draw for what we get saddled with is a BITCH and all I want to do is help fix it
